Grateful

I am so grateful for my life. I know my blog is a roller coaster of emotions at times. After getting a good cry out I was able to stop and really look at my life. I am so blessed to have 3 children who love me. 3 children who are healthy, I am so grateful for my husband. It is impossible to explain my love for Dennis. Everyday I reminded how much he loves me and our children. It has rained for 33 days straight. By rain I mean pouring down rain all day. Dennis never complains just gets up and goes to work and comes home in a good mood. I have so much to learn from this man. I have family who love and care for me. I am so grateful for the roof over my head, I'm grateful for my life, I know life seems crazy right now but one day I will miss this. I am grateful for gospel. Having the gospel in my life really puts things into perspective. I am grateful for 2 little smiles that greet me no later than 6am everyday. I am grateful for Audrey and I know that we are and will always be best friends just like I am with my mom. I am thankful for my imperfect body right now that will one day go back to the shape I like. Life is hard and challenging but that is the whole reason we are here on earth to be tried and tested. I am grateful for my life. I know I blessed beyond measure.

The dreaded post

Today is one of those days I wonder WHY me? Why did God decide it was a good idea to give me twins???? I love both of my boys and would not change it but I need to vent I guess. Chances are the post will be deleted before anyone reads it.

Having twins is so hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It actually annoys me now when people say "oh I wanted twins". I think to myself, Do you though? Have you ever stopped and really thought about it? There is more than dressing to babies up and getting stopped every where you go (This is actually frustrating now) When I go into a store I only have a few minutes before one starts to cry I am on a strict schedule and I don't have time. (see I told you I needed to vent)

I feel like my life revolves around crying. When I get one soothed and to bed the other one starts in. There is no break from crying in our house. Audrey was hanging on the babysitters leg tonight begging to go to her house where there is no crying babies. If I was a kid I would be doing the same thing.

I missed a baby shower tonight because of babies. I wanted to go but I have been hopelessly trying to get the babies on a schedule and I knew that it would throw things off. I though oh I will put them to bed at 7 and Audrey can go to be ay 8 and then I can have some time to myself. hahaha what was I thinking seriously. They are both screaming as I type this. (Don't worry they are on my bed right behind me. It does not matter if I hold them or not they just scream. So I will vent and listen to the only sound that is heard in our house as I vent.

The only way I can describe twins is think of a regular baby and how much attention and work they are and then double that and you have twins. It takes me twice as long to do baths, diaper changes, feedings, making bottles, etc you get the idea. I had this crazy idea that I would have tons of help for awhile. I am not sure what I was thinking here. I did receive help for the first month but everyone has their own crazy busy schedule.

To top everything off I thought it would be a great idea to tackle school right now on top of having twins. Yeah I know I'm crazy. My days don't stop there is always something that needed to be done 10 minutes ago..... oh well what do ya do?

Oh yeah and then their is this sweet little girl who is neglected more than any kid I know right now. She has a great attitude 98% of the time and is always willing to help. She wants me to play with her the second both babies go to sleep. So I feel beyond guilty when I just want to sit down for 5 minutes.

Ok I feel better now.

Really I do

Thanks for listening. (reading this but hey all of my girlfriends read this so I just vented to everyone at once)

4 Generations

A picture like this does not come along very often....

Can't wait

I am so excited for Sunday. I have been looking forward to this for awhile now.